Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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