It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
