I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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