i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
