Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
