walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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