Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
