I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
