She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
