you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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