She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
