i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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