no, he came in my armpit
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
