i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
