How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My balls are so social today.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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