i would punch a child for taco bell
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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