my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
