Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
