oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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