He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
