Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
