i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
