I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
