i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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