chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
