Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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