my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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