you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the day after is always just damage control
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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