i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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