with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
