Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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