I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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