We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
