This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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