I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
