who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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