the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
