..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
