Moan for me like Helen Keller
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
