I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
