I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
