I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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