There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
