apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
