Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
