After last night, I could never be a politician.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
