I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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