I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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