i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
