3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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