apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just found puke in my bra..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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